Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Giving in to Frustration

I haven't posted in a while... frustrating!
Last year I was invited to join a group of online book reviewers, and bloggers through Stenhouse Publishing. I joined wholeheartedly because I love to read and further myself professionally. I did pretty well for a time, reading and posting about what I was reading. I even joined the group to do some online discussing. Then, frustration took over. As I was reading, in the back of my mind I would be thinking, "this sounds wonderful, this would help my students tremendously, I can't wait to try this!"
But, also in my mind I heard, "This doesnt' follow my corporations curriculum, can I teach this and the curriculum with fidelity? (that's my corporations favorite word this year). Then why read? Oh, it's interesting, and I know it is well reseached, and would help my students tremendously with student achievement. But, it's not the basal, it's not what my corporation expects me to teach, with fidelity.
How do we as educators continue to press further? How do we swallow this educational "reform" and still want to teach? My biggest fear is that reform will be passed but at the end of it all it will not help children in any way become lifelong readers. I don't want to teach this way, I want to teach that books are so interesting that you can't put them down. I want them to know that I receive books from a publishing company to read so that I can make myself better, and because I love reading! I choose to be a reader, everyday! I want that to be my focus for children, and then if they have that love of books, the strategies, and the Venn diagrams, and the compare and contrast the characters, and the transperancies will make sense to them. I don't want to teach from a basal, I want to put real books into the hands of children who have never held the promise of a book.
Frustration took over, and it wilted me and my love for teaching, for a little while. Then I got back to my basics, I picked up books for enjoyment. I read, and read, and read. I discussed them with whoever would listen. They weren't the books from the publisher, they weren't books that I was forced to read, they were books that I wanted to read. I let them replenish me, take me away to places I had never been, and they taught me about myself as a reader. Things I wanted my students to discover about themselves.
Now I am ready, I have a whole stack of books to last me the summer. Ah, sweet summer! I'll be poolside with lots of books in hand, reading, blogging, and gathering myself for next year. I will still be met with "teaching the curriculum with fidelity." I will, but I am also going to sneak in some love of books. I'm going to make sure that frustration does not settle in and destroy my love for books, and teaching. I'll be ready, I just need the summer.

5 comments:

Rebekah Hubley said...

Summer is almost here... One of Ryan's students the other day told him that there were 68 hours and some odd minutes left in the school year. In hours, that seems really short... :-)

Mike Rush said...

Sarah,

It's been awhile since I visited your blog. Looks like it's been awhile since you posted. Me too; I'm just getting back into the swing. It also looks like your blog is being slammed by Chinese spammers!

I have the feeling that the frustration you wrote about here is something you will wrestle with your entire professional life. That's something non-educators never see. They look at our summer break but can't see the angst we go through wondering if what we are doing is best, right, meaningful for students. Hang in there...our team needs more real wrestlers.

Mike Teacher Food

Susan Nations said...

Hopefully your summer has been refreshing and a positive for you. It's true, it can get SO DAUNTING. May I suggest one more book? It's called "Entertaining an Elephant" and was written by a burned out teacher. It's a quick read and quite refreshing.

dr dre headphones said...

Microsoft Office 2010 is Microsoft's new smart business office software, the Ribbon interface themes for adaptation to the increasing number of functional requirements of the enterprise business processes. Microsoft Office 2010 Key the development team is given a new set of security strategy, to understand the vulnerability by analysis of past vulnerability is how to be exploited.

Jim said...

Actual sidesteps this difficulty, Office 2007 downlaod an existing example of this as a entertained professional holidaying to get a planes. In addition to off-line Google30mail get access to starts off a whole new portion for getting Search engine wish for you to bring in business enterprise people regarding solutions like Yahoo Purposes, models Google30mail is an element.
"This serves as a aspect we have now read elevated in size in Microsoft Office 2010 Standard conjunction with take off the small company requires,In . stated Todd Fitzgibbons, Gmail's items boss. Microsoft office 2007